Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


why is my bf mad that I found a good job?


Question Posted Saturday September 16 2006, 2:20 pm

I don't understand my bf. This is what happened. Well for the first two years of dating him I had been collecting a small disability pension for an old injury. My bf used to give me a hard time about me not working even though I was volunteering at two different places and wasnt just sitting around (and he never gave me credit for these either) I never asked him for any money and could afford to live on my own so I didnt know why if bothered him that I wasnt working. He was so mean about me not working that he made me cry in public once by cruelly saying I was just living off the system. Well about two months ago I got hired at a decent paying job. When I told him how happy I was and that I was meeting some nice people he sarcastically said "so it's working out for you". What in the world? First he's bullying me into finding work and then when I do he's even more unhappy. I know he makes tons of money at his job so I don't think it's jealousy (although he hates the long hours) Does anyone have any insight to this behavior?

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


BitsandPieces answered Sunday September 17 2006, 5:58 pm:
Is he ever supportive of any decision you make without him? Does he have a need to feel superior and smarter than other people and you in particular? It sounds like he may have a problem and you need to think about what life is going to be like with someone this cruel and controlling over the years. Someone like that can really eat away at your self-esteem if you let them. That's right, it is your choice to stay or leave. Personally, I would say don't let the door hit you on the way out. You deserve to have only healthy and supportive relationships, and there are enough jerks in the world you will have to deal with in life, without sleeping with one, too.

[ BitsandPieces's advice column | Ask BitsandPieces A Question
]




MelLeDisko answered Saturday September 16 2006, 7:54 pm:
Well, the most I can suggest here is to talk to him about it and ask if he's alright and ask what he's feeling about you getting a job now, and you thought he'd be happy for you.

But my real advice? I'd say dump him.

He should be happy for you and that you got a good job. And what kind of boyfriend sits there and rags on his girlfriend for not having a job while she's volunteering? It's not like you're sitting there on your butt all day getting money. And a boyfriend shouldn't make you cry ; especially in public. He just sounds like sort of a jerk to me.

But, if you want to stick with him, then talk to him about it and ask him what's going on.

But like I said, I think you should break up with him.

I hope I helped.

[ MelLeDisko's advice column | Ask MelLeDisko A Question
]



TheTeenGirl answered Saturday September 16 2006, 7:24 pm:
Your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. I know this may offend you, but aren't you starting to feel like you won't be good enough for him?

One moment he's on your back and making you upset for not having a job and now suddenly it's still not good enough?

I don't think you should sit around and try finding out what's wrong. I honestly think you need to end it with him. Now, I know exactly what you are thinking: It's not like that with him. He's done very many sweet things for you and you want to work things out. I understand that it's probably not as bad as it's sounding in your question, but it's still not worth it.

The only insight I would have on his behavior is a typical jerk who just wants to whine at his girlfriend and acting like he's better which isn't what it looks like to you, but come on now, you know that there isn't any logical explaination to this kind of behavior.


-TheTeenGirl

[ TheTeenGirl's advice column | Ask TheTeenGirl A Question
]



hilda32 answered Saturday September 16 2006, 6:01 pm:
hey Hun


Fiirst Of all i dont know why you put up with him i wouldve just dumped hiim but thats me


maybe cause he thiinks he wont see you anymore or maybe it is jealousy that your gonna meet new people oir sumthiing im not sure sorry but if i was you i would ask ask him

[ hilda32's advice column | Ask hilda32 A Question
]



xomegaroni answered Saturday September 16 2006, 2:56 pm:
i guess it could be anything. the best thing to do would be to talk to him about it. it doesn't really sound like jealously, but it could be. i don't think he should be acting that way since he did want you to get a job, but that's just my opinion. sit down & ask him. that's really the only thing you can do. he'll probably give you a decent explanation.

-hope that helped!♥

[ xomegaroni's advice column | Ask xomegaroni A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: Can I use Saltines Vs. Soda Crackers?
Next Question >>> Ordinary Day by Vanessa Carlton

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

How to forgive yourself
Don’t Leave Me Like This
My question is about healing my friend
My niece moved in with us.

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker